Empty, still, unfeeling, submissive to doubt
Chirping birds, sad movie on a small screen,
Resume smoking, feel no relief, feel no harm,
Same old clothes, everything soft and warm,
Ex-girlfriend’s birthday, did I really love her?
She: tall, thin, pretty, can read a book in a day.
Me: short, soft, solemn, can read a book in a day.

Is it normal not to wear a tie to a funeral?
What did I want to be when I grew up?
Do I like the person I’m growing up to be?
Why haven’t I met anyone who looks like me?
Will one pretty girl who likes me ever be enough?
Can I be better at knowing when to be grateful?
Am I ever going to be left alone and like it?
Should I take more opportunities to buy gifts?

I’m going outside to have another cigarette.
When I return, everything will be different.

Calm understanding infiltrates unseen,
Mind and body capture them, become serene,
Holy ghost might swallow me, follow and grieve,
This version of me will die today, replaced by green,
Sorrow once surrounded me in uncomfortable dreams,
Your line-breaks are pedestrian, I don’t mean to be mean.
We’re flying long down the staircase, Lord, will we ever be free?

Nothing to fear but that ‘tween our ears.
An apple a day cast our ancestors astray.
All ye know on Earth and all ye need to
know: Beauty is Truth, and Truth, brutal.
Why must we be delivered anything, God?
Haven’t we received the bulk of it by now?
What do you or I have to be sorry for, God?
Forgiveness is just admitted resentment.
You’re as innocent as any of us, God.
You didn’t ask for any of this to happen, either.

You couldn’t have possibly known
the sins of the father would be the sins of the son
when you were all there was.