Total transactions: 59
Total messages: 232
High Score: 151(W11)
Low Score: 92 (W2)
Average Score: 127 (-14 vs. league avg.)
Best Streak: 1 win
Worst Streak: 7 losses
Favorite Teams: Bears, Raiders, Ravens, Texans
Highest Bid: $69 (Tracy)
Biggest Steal: Monangai ($4)
Highlight: Rivalry Czar, Cash Game Communism
Fatal Flaw: draft pick deficit, RB injuries
Lesson Learned: never go full Robert
Total transactions: 62
Total messages: 69
High Score: 147 (W4)
Low Score: 75 (W12)
Average Score: 124 (-17)
Best Streak: 1
Worst Streak: 4 (twice)
Favorite Teams: Broncos, Chiefs
Highest Bid: $169 (Kelce)
Biggest Steal: Joe Burrow (free)
Highlights: Backup RB diamond mine; drafting Mahomes in the 7th, flipping him for a 2nd
Fatal Flaw: draft pick deficit
Lesson Learned: Don’t trade your 1st, don’t give Oliver’s baby a nickname
Total transactions: 42
Total messages: 11
High Score: 167 (W2)
Low Score: 90 (W3)
Average Score: 132 (-9)
Best Streak: 2 (twice)
Worst Streak: 5
Favorite Teams: Bucs, Lions, Jags
Highest Bid: $45 (Penix)
Biggest Steal: Woody (free), Jameis ($1)
Highlight: avoiding elimination until the bitter end
Fatal Flaw: zero weeks with his ideal starting lineup
Lesson Learned: stretch those hammies, always start Jameis
Total transactions: 22
Total messages: 81
High Score: 200 (W12)
Low Score: 107 (W13)
Average Score: 140 (-1)
Best Streak: 3
Worst Streak: 3
Favorite Teams: Chargers, Packers, Cards
Highest Bid: $40 (Troy Franklin)
Biggest Steal: Landman ($1)
Highlight: dropped 200 on Sean to kill his bid for the 1-seed
Fatal Flaw: consolidated scoring
Lesson Learned: QBs with bad o-lines are gonna get hurt
Total transactions: 37
Total messages: 25
High Score: 176 (W4)
Low Score: 101 (W8)
Average Score: 134 (-7)
Best Streak: 3
Worst Streak: 3 (twice)
Favorite Teams: Bucs, Falcons, Cards
Highest Bid: $30 (Michael Wilson)
Biggest Steal: Stafford (free)
Highlight: Facing the dregs of the league for the second half of the season
Fatal Flaw: Belichickian levels of coach/GM malpractice
Lesson Learned: If you’re good at drafting and bad at free agency, and you’re on the outer edge of the playoff bubble at the trade deadline, you should probably sell for picks
Total transactions: 39
Total messages: 219
High Score: 184 (W2)
Low Score: 97 (W11)
Average Score: 138 (-3)
Best Streak: 2 (twice)
Worst Streak: 2 (twice)
Favorite Teams: Colts, Bears
Highest Bid: $31 (Ridley lol)
Biggest Steal: Parsons (free)
Highlight: Danny Dimes redemption
Fatal Flaw: QB platoon, trading picks too soon
Lesson Learned: avoid drafting last year’s leader in touches
Total transactions: 77
Total messages: 489
High Score: 184 (W9)
Low Score: 99 (W12)
Average Score: 142 (+1)
Best Streak: 2 (twice)
Worst Streak: 3
Favorite Teams: Ravens, Bears, Saints, Titans
Highest Bid: $42 (Burrow)
Biggest Steal: Tykee ($2), Pierce ($1), Jameson ($3)
Highlight: Lamar scoring 100 in the first three weeks
Fatal Flaw: Lamar scoring 15 in the last three weeks
Lesson Learned: forget everything I said about QB being worth a high pick if he has strong odds to lead all players in scoring. Don’t pay up to stack QB-RB. If you pay up for a long-game payoff (like injured Burrow for $42), see it through. Don’t start Andy Dalton.
Total transactions: 31
Total messages: 203
High Score: 183 (W13)
Low Score: 90 (W2)
Average Score: 137 (-4)
Best Streak: 3
Worst Streak: 3
Favorite Team: Chargers, Browns
Highest Bid: $36 (QJ)
Biggest Steal: Love (free), Myers (free)
Highlight: RB STAck, Flacco’s last ride
Fatal Flaw: QB carousel
Lesson Learned: Separate the art from the artist; separate the points from the person. Some Trash Asshole has won many a fantasy championship.
Total transactions: 30
Total messages: 36
High Score:169 (W5)
Low Score: 109 (W11)
Average Score: 139 (-2)
Best Streak: 5
Worst Streak: 4
Favorite Teams: Bucs, Eagles
Highest Bid: $20 (Sean Tucker)
Biggest Steal: James Cook for a mid-keeper slot
Highlight: Egg’s emergence, Rice’s return
Fatal Flaw: doubling up on Vikings without any idea what they had at QB
Lesson Learned: A guy who weighs 180 pounds probably shouldn’t try to play 100 snaps per week in the NFL.
Total transactions: 25
Total messages: 258
High Score: 176 (W5)
Low Score: 104 (W12)
Average Score: 142 (+1)
Best Streak: 4
Worst Streak: 2 (twice)
Favorite Teams: Bucs’ backups, Broncos
Highest Bid: $14 (TJ Edwards)
Biggest Steal: Davante in the 4th
Highlight: Thunderscone
Fatal Flaw: no feel for FAAB
Lesson Learned: draft Josh Allen until the wheels fall off. You’re either making the playoffs or getting an extra pick in the top 15. Spencer trading Allen at the deadline last year delivered De’Von Achane (RB5) at 14 overall this year.
Total transactions: 65
Total messages: 77
High Score: 226 (W10)
Low Score: 114 (W1)
Average Score: 177 (+36)
Best Streak: 7
Worst Streak: 1
Favorite Teams: Cowboys, Dolphins
Highest Bid: $27 (Boutte)
Biggest Steal: Jordyn Brooks (free), Dowdle ($5), JT 11th overall
Highlight: Steamrolling the league with seven straight weeks above 180, which didn’t even include his season-high.
Fatal Flaw: getting hot at the wrong time, getting complacent
Lesson Learned: hack into Sean’s Google Sheets, steal his draft prep, snipe his picks
Total transactions: 48
Total messages: 66
High Score: 188 (W7)
Low Score: 137 (W6)
Average Score: 161 (+20)
Best Streak: 10
Worst Streak: 1
Favorite Teams: Eagles, Giants
Highest Bid: $39 (Slayton)
Biggest Steal: Dart (free), Etienne in the 8th, Burns in the 12th
Highlight: Being the shit?
Fatal Flaw: low ceiling?
Lesson Learned: Get as lucky as humanly possible? (No shade, Spe just hit on every single pick, and their mistakes did not fucking matter)
3. Max, 8-5, 1851
4. Evan, 7-6, 1812
5. Coleman, 7-6, 1790
6. Doak, 6-7, 1850
7. Cam, 6-7, 1794
8. Corey, 6-7, 1750
9. Shelby, 5-8, 1826
10. Brian, 5-8, 1716
Max
+39 over Evan
+61 over Coleman
Evan
+62 over Corey
+22 over Coleman
+18 over Cam
-38 to Doak
Coleman
+40 over Corey
-4 to Cam
-22 to Evan
-60 to Doak
-61 to Max
Doak
+134 over Brian
+100 over Corey
+60 over Coleman
+56 over Cam
+38 over Evan
+24 over Shelby
Cameron
+78 over Brian
+44 over Corey
-32 to Shelby
Corey
+34 over Brian
-76 to Shelby
Shelby
+110 over Brian
Max clinches if:
Max wins; OR
Max maintains points over Evan and Coleman; OR
Evan and Coleman lose
Evan clinches if:
Evan wins; AND
Max loses, Evan overcomes points; AND
1. Evan maintains points over Coleman OR
2. Coleman loses
Coleman clinches if:
Coleman wins, Max loses; AND
Coleman overcomes points OR
Evan loses
Max clinches if:
Max loses AND
Evan OR Coleman wins and overcomes points
Evan clinches if:
Evan wins or maintains points over Coleman
Coleman clinches if:
Coleman wins, Evan loses; OR
Coleman overcomes points
Doak clinches if:
Doak wins, Evan and Coleman lose; AND
Doak maintains points over Corey and Cam
Cam clinches if:
Cam wins, Evan and Coleman lose; AND
1. Cameron overcomes Doak and maintains over Corey
2. Doak and Corey lose
Corey clinches if:
Corey wins, Evan and Coleman lose; AND
1. Corey overcomes Doak and Cameron; OR
2. Doak and Cam lose
Max clinches if:
Max loses, AND Evan and Coleman win AND overcome points
Evan clinches if:
Coleman overcomes points
Doak clinches if:
Doak wins, Evan OR Coleman lose; AND
Doak maintains over Cam and Corey
Cam clinches if:
Cam wins, Evan OR Coleman lose, Doak loses
Corey clinches if:
Corey wins, Evan or Coleman loses, Corey overcomes Doak and Cam
Max is spared, but seven teams remain eligible for this spot. Let’s start with how Evan or Coleman can miss the playoffs. In either case, they would secure a bye week in the pick ladder. In either case, Shelby and Brian would also miss the playoffs.
Evan misses the playoffs if he loses and at least two of Cam, Corey, and Doak win, AND Cam/Corey have to overcome points.
Coleman’s scenario is similar but with less cushion. Only Corey would have to overcome points over Coleman.
Step two is understanding how either Shelby or Brian can make the playoffs.
Brian is realistically out. In order to get in, he needs to outscore me by 134 points. If I hit my season low of 99, Brian needs 233, meaning he needs to beat this season’s high by 7. But hey, Brian’s career high is 235. Even if I fail to hit the overall season low of 75, Brian still needs to break 200. And then he needs Shelby, Corey, and Cameron to lose, AND he needs Shelby to score under 90, Cameron under 120, and Corey under 165. But let’s say Brian breaks the all-time record and gets to 251 this week. Then he only needs Shelby to stay under 140, Cam under 170, Corey under 215. That’s more palatable, yeah? Idk. Good luck, Brian.
Shelby’s path is much cleaner. She needs to win and outscore me by 24, and she needs Cam, Corey, and me to lose. Without even looking it up, I’m positive that exact scenario has happened multiple times this year.
So if you want to stay out of the weeds, here’s the simple version:
Sean and Spencer should focus on Week 16.
Max should focus on Week 15.
Evan and Coleman are rooting against Cam, Corey, and me.
I am rooting for Brian to break 250 because chaos.
Cameron is rooting against Evan, Coleman and me.
Corey and Shelby are rooting for the top five teams and against each other.
Brian is praying for JD and Marv to be healthy.
Kennedy is rooting for status quo (Shelby seems gettable next week).
Oliver is rooting for Brian and Shelby to swap spots.
In sheer cowardice of and submissive reverence to the fantasy gods, I am refusing to make predictions this week. But I will give us each a spirit Smash Bro to guide us through the melee:
Spencer – Samus
Sean – Donkey Kong
Max – Fox
Evan – Jigglypuff
Coleman – Luigi
Doak – Kirby
Cameron – Yoshi
Corey - Captain Falcon
Shelby – Pikachu
Brian – Link
Oliver – Ness
Kennedy – Mario
