Regression is the theme of the week, and Thursday night gave us a perfect example. The Eagles have been playing poorly and winning. They were due to lose, and now they’ve lost two straight. Sound the alarm! Jk, fuck off, the Eagles are fine. They faced a top-3 defense last week, a top-5 d-line this week, and a hungry-as-fuck Giants offense had a chip on their shoulder and came out with more energy and intensity. It’s also really hard for DC Vic Fangio to gameplan against a team with no established tendencies, especially with the Eagles’ d-line struggling, forcing Fangio out of his ideal setup of rushing four and disguising coverage. Defenses tend to be at the mercy of the offense; to be defensive is to be reactive. But Brian Flores’ Vikings enlightened other DCs to the potential of the defense to force the offense to react. It’s an algorithm: man or zone, blitz or bluff, stunt or rush, disguise yes/no, rotate yes/no. You apply those functions, and you have a defensive playcall. You mix those calls effectively, you force the offense into mistakes, they naturally get conservative, you get more aggressive, you send them to hell. The point is: the Eagles can’t do all of those things as well as they did last year. They simply don’t have the overwhelmingly talent advantage anymore. Offenses are less afraid, offenses are back to dictating against Fangio, Eagles might not continue to lose, but maaan, they might!
So through five weeks of the season, we have trends. We have stats that have bounced up and down and somewhat settled when it comes to teams that aren’t making wholesale personnel changes. The Giants and Browns have made exceptionally beneficial changes at QB and RB in the last few weeks. The Chargers have been forced into exceptionally detrimental changes with injuries to OL and RB. The Bucs have been forced to adapt on offense, but they’ve had success because Jason Licht is a wizard. He’s on an insane heater in the draft and free agency. We still don’t know what the Bucs’ offense really is. We didn’t really know until this year what a menace Baker is as rusher. We had inklings, we had a preview, but you can’t honestly tell me you knew Baker would have multiple runs this year longer than Saquon’s longest through six weeks. The Ravens, my god, it would take an hour to go through the mess that’s ruining their season. The Bengals, it’s Burrow, but it confirms what we know about how broken the rest of this thing was. The Commanders have been forced to adjust on offense, which is to their benefit because Kliff appeared to be trying to run back last year’s offense before McLaurin and Ekeler went down and Daniels missed two weeks. Now they’ve unlocked some new moves that they’ll keep using, but we’re still not sure it’s sustainable it is since we’ve effectively seen four different offenses the last four weeks. The only other team I would say we haven’t seen established trends from is the Vikings, again due to injuries to QB, OL, and RB; even the Addison suspension means we’ve only seen two weeks with the WR corps at full strength.
So keep an open mind with the Browns, Giants, Chargers, Bucs, Ravens, Bengals, Commanders, and Vikings. Expect surprises, but make bets on what those surprises will be. Spencer jumped on Jaxson Dart early, and that’s a win. Shelby made the right assumptions with Burrow and Herbert, but the cookie crumbled wrong. Brian should have drafted Chase #1 because Chase can score 30 in the worst situation. Might Brian rather have Bijan YEAH but whatever. Coleman went all-in on Browns’ skill players and has a massive hit in the rookie RB. I went all-in on the Ravens primary ball-carriers and am on the brink of self-annihilation. This is what we do here.
Let’s get into teams we have established trends for and rather than lean in and copy/paste those results going forward, assume regression.
Evan is 5-0, screaming regression candidate just because nobody goes undefeated. But Evan’s scoring is so consistent—even better, it’s predictable— that he appears destined to win any matchup where his opponent is under 150. Sean is averaging 190 points the last four weeks, with a low of 183. That’s going to regress. Those are impossible numbers. Four weeks is a strong sample relative to a 17-game season, but a month in time is a subatomic particle. If someone can just figure out the Cowboy’s offense, Sean could be back to 125 a game in no time. Honestly, if teams would just start selling out to stop Jonathan Taylor, Sean could at least dip into Evan’s scoring territory. But among the top teams, it’s Max and Spencer who need to be worried to the point of making big moves before Sean and Evan start selling out to build the superfortress.
Take a look at the point-differentials through five weeks (and scoring rank):
144 Spe (4th)
89 Evan (2nd)
88 Max (3rd)
77 Cam (5th)
70 Sean (1st)
28 Coleman (8th)
26 Corey (7th)
-41 Doak (6th)
-60 Shelby (Last)
-70 Oliver (9th)
-169 Kennedy (10th)
-183 Brian (11th)
As unsustainable as Sean’s heater is, the fantasy gods have stacked this Magic deck appropriately. Sean’s high scores are beating out other high scores. When you compare his scoring regression to the likelihood he faces top scorers, he’s still likely to win more than he loses. Whereas Spencer is getting by, not necessarily likely to regress in scoring, but it’s not a special roster so much as it’s insane RB volume (hence this week’s cash game). Spencer won’t continue to face these low scores every week. Spencer is a middle-class team benefitting from lower-class competition. They’ve faced one opponent who went over 140, and that’s they’re one loss. Granted, Spencer has yet to score below 140. And we have a history of teams staying above 140 for basically the entire season. So Spencer’s fine, but to jump into the Evan-Sean tier, it’s time to get a gamechanging WR.
Max is also hot, and it’s a little bit of a scam because he’s been a backup RB merchant, but those backup RBs might just be starters now. Jordan Mason can get yards on the ground that Aaron Jones can’t, and the Vikings ideally want to run the ball a ton. Rachaad White is the clear backup to Bucky, but he’s the Bucs’ best option for power, he can play all three downs, and Bucky might have gotten seriously injured. We don’t know for sure. We know he “died on the cross” according to an Instagram post, and he has upper and lower body injuries. Hey, weren’t we all pretty sure it was a bad idea to treat Bucky like a bell-cow back due to his size? Wasn’t it pretty obvious that he would get seriously injured if we weren’t careful about how often we pushed him into a pile of angry boulders? Fuck. Whatever. The point is: Max might keep getting away with it! And unlike Spencer, Max is set. He would benefit from not having to start Rashid Shaheed on Nico and Davante’s bye weeks, but you know what? Shaheed’s an ideal bye-week fill-in. What Shaheed is not—and this is why Max needs to explore a trade if Bateman and Jameson can’t get going—is a legit option at WR come playoff time.
Cameron is in this upper-middle-class, as well, but his roster is even more fraught than Spe or Max’s. Cameron’s ping-ponging Nix-els and Dimes (you know what, I like it, and it stays). He’s not getting elite production from Saquon, but he is getting elite production from Sun God. He’s not getting elite production from Ladd, but he is getting elite production from Drake. Tyler Warren and Brandon Aubrey are about the best TE-K combo you can hope for. The IDPs are on fire, and he scooped Parsons for free on Sunday morning. It’s textbook margin-winning. The issue is that ping-ponging at the most important position is trickling down to the team as a whole. Cameron’s five scores have been 109, 184, 134, 171, 140. It’s all over the place, and it’s partially due to the impossible challenge of setting a lineup when you have similar options at multiple positions and you’re winning or losing ten points in each spot based on the coin flip. Cameron’s team can’t regress because it is regression incarnate.
Corey can regress because his team is getting hot despite missing its best players. Corey had Bijan on bye, Bowers out, and only needed ten players to top 150. He ended up with 170 thanks to a clutch IDP add (dude had two tackles but also scored a 99-yd INT TD). He’s had 170 in two straight games, increasing his win% from .000 to .400 and doing it thanks to free agency. Stafford and Diggs are regression candidates long-term but should provide Corey solid footing for two more weeks. But the Bucky and Bowers injuries feel significant, as in they should linger long-term and either cause Corey to continue starting bench players and getting mixed results or starting injured stars and getting mixed results. Either way, it’s pushing down the ceiling and keeping Corey in the middle class with the potential for the bottom to drop out any given week. Like, imagine starting Stafford’ back, Bucky’s little bones, Bowers’ knee, Diggs’ manic depression, and two Jets every week. Bijan, JSN, and GW can only do so much.
Kennedy and Brian are better at losing than anyone is at winning. And I mostly included the points ranking to double-down on my assessment that my team is better than my record, but I’m trying to glean regression here. That’s an emphasis for me as this season’s stats increase in meaning. There are trends emerging; some things are sustainable, some are not. I’m nervous about starting Darnold this week because his ANY/A (potentially the most reliable QB stat) is insanely high, but the Jags D is forcing turnovers at an unsustainable rate, and if I’m playing the something’s gotta give game, I’m betting on Seattle’s offense over the Jags’ defense.
In terms of Mortydome regression, you’d expect this big-picture shift: Spencer, Cameron, Coleman, and Shelby will drop in the standings while Sean, Corey, Oliver, Brian, and I rise. That’s my take. That’s my estimate. If I had to predict the playoff field, Sean, Max, and Evan would be the only sure things. Coleman’s fourth with hesitation because he’s pretty thin, but a 4-1 record and a good starting lineup provides cushion. (Would be pretty cool for Coleman to have a three-headed RB attack instead of starting two Chargers WR every week, but some lessons we learn the hard way.) Those 5th and 6th spots are up for grabs. Spencer is the favorite for already having four wins and having a slightly better roster than Corey or Cameron, and a cursory matchup glance tells me Cameron is going to beat Corey this week, so that would give Cam the final playoff spot and set Corey up for a fourth straight year with a top-2 draft pick. That’s all you really need to know about picking high in the draft.
Schedule matters in stat regression for individual players, as well. The Titans lost their first four games and looked like ass (Cam Ward’s words, not mine). They finally played a below average defense in Week 5 and won (barely, because another ballcarrier dropped the ball before crossing the goal line). Unsurprisingly this was a breakout game for Ridley. The Texans looked really bad after going 0-3, losing by one score each time, against the Rams, Bucs, and Jags, who have a combined record of 11-4 through five weeks. In the past two weeks, the Texans have won by a combined 60 points over the hapless Titans and broken Ravens. The Texans D has held each of their opponents to their lowest point total this season, and by a pretty significant margin: those five teams have scored at least nine more points in every other game than they have against the Texans. There’s no regression coming for the Texans D: there’s regression coming when teams play the Texans. Just as there’s regression coming when teams play the Broncos and Packers. There are other good defenses, but those are the only three I’m afraid of. Especially the Packers because they are due for more turnovers. I also want to emphasize something about the Jags’ fraudulent defense. The league average turnover percentage is 10.5%. The average defense forces a turnover on one of every ten drives. The Jaguars have forced a turnover on one of every four drives. The Steelers and Bears are up around 20%, so that’s coming down. The leader in TO% the last three seasons has landed between 16-17%, and league average sticks between 10-11%. The Colts are up at 17% right now, but the cause is apparent, and the rate is sustainable. Generally, defenses tend to stay about 7%, but occasionally you have a couple defenses around 5%. Right now the Jets are at 0%, so very soon they will have a multi-TO game, maybe this week against Bo Nix but almost definitely the next two weeks against Bryce Young and Joe Flacco. The Ravens are at 3.6%, and they are truly that bad without Roquan, Hamilton, and Humphrey. The Packers, Broncos, Browns, and Chargers should be forcing more turnovers based on how they’ve played, while the Giants, Cowboys, Commanders, Raiders appear to be sustainably bad.
I want to isolate the Lions defense here to say that they have been playing well, but injuries are piling up. They are going to be without legitimate starting corners for at least the Chiefs and Bucs game, meaning your Lions’ offensive players are must-starts for shootout/garbage time potential.
If you didn’t get equitable airtime this week, it’s because I’m barely functioning as I adjust to grad school classes starting, a pretty significant job shift, on top of parenting and spousing and homeowning and the existential dread of my mother’s looming move-in date. Let’s do some previews and get out of here so I can either eat, shower, or take a nap, but not all three because I have to install gutter leaders, seal a crack in the shower, and read one book about how to incorporate social justice into the classroom and another about how to making learning fun, while resisting the temptation to invent a game called Pin the Hat on the Clergy.
The Magic SkatteBus dropped 36 on Thursday night thanks to 100 yards, 3 TDs, and seven first downs. Someone close to the organization called him “the future and present at the position,” and while this is likely the peak against a terrible Eagles line, there is only so much modern defenses can do against the illegitimate love child of Mike Alstott and Roger Craig. I think what’s crazier than the combined prevalence of Cams and Sams around the league is Shelby’s utter lack of them. Cam Skattebo might be untouchable after this, but at 1-4, Shelby might be better off having fun and building the plane out of Cams and Sams. I’ll give up Sams Darnold and LaPorta for cheap, so you just have to put together that godfather offer for Oliver and you’re rolling, plus these are mid and late keepers to go with Rome Odunze as your early for next season. Oliver loves Skattebo, but does he love him so much that he would reject an offer including Jahmyr Gibbs? Anyway…
Oliver is up 47-0 on just two players, Mahomes has shootout potential, and Oliver might have solved the three DL problem with Hendrickson, Bonitto, and Armstrong, each of whom is by far the past pass rusher on his respective team. Hendrickson is up and down because the defense isn’t good and the opposing team gets to run the whole second half, but he’s so good that 10+ sacks feels like a given. Might be up and down, but it’s better than chasing free agents.
Shelby maybe gets a break with Herbert playing a bad defense, but Miami’s one strength is its pass rush, and the Chargers are on their fourth and fifth tackles, and friends, teams don’t roster fifth tackles. And even fourth tackles are usually just young project players. The Chargers’ best bet to win is to control the ball and play good defense, so Herbert’s prayer here is that his receivers break tackles against that weak Dolphins secondary and take it to the house. One play that defenses are having an impossible time stopping is called an RB speed-out where essentially the RB sprints to the flat, the QB throws back-shoulder, and the RB catches the ball in stride toward the sideline. It’s only good for five yards, but it’s good every time, and occasionally a guy falls down or misses the tackle and it’s a potential house-call. The Dolphins LBs are absolute trash in pass coverage, and whatever’s left of Nyheim Hines can absolutely work them.
Shelby’s other matchups are strong, stronger than Oliver’s, with the prime spot being her two WRs facing off on Monday night. Really this whole matchup should come down to Mahomes vs. Gibbs on Sunday night and Rome/Deebo vs. Armstrong on Monday. Oliver has built the necessary advantage on Thursday to take this thing down to the wire. Shelby probably needed to start Wan’Dale because that second flex spot is rough with the best options being Chase Brown RJ Harvey, and Jaylen Warren. Brown is the only true RB1 of the bunch, but whatever volume you expect is limited by the Bengals’ inability to get a lead ever, and they’re playing against the Packers. Warren against the Browns sucks, Harvey needs kick returns to be viable and the Broncos might not let the Jets score, so you might pivot to Keon Coleman in a potential shootout against Atlanta. You want to win on the margins because Oliver is probably losing on them by starting Kamara against the Pats and Metcalf against the Browns. Oliver has to make those plays for the potential, but it shouldn’t work out this week. Get that second flex spot right and turn this season around. (I will say, though, if Oliver loses this week, he has no incentive to move Skattebo because Skattebo is a solid gold keeper, and Oliver will be 1-5.)
In what should be a loser leaves town match, I’m giving the slight nod to Shelby because I think while Oliver clearly wins the QB (and probably RB) matchup, Shelby wins pretty much everywhere else.
Not giving this one much analysis. It is pretty much the best team in the league versus the worst, and any given Sunday blah blah blah, but this is not a single game like they get to play on the field. Kennedy needs like ten games to wrong for Sean, and he really only has Caleb, Jeanty, and the two true Bobbies likely to contribute significant points. Sean has a bunch of great players in cake matchups, and he’s even hedging by benching Dak. Sean by a million.
Kennedy might want to sell now before anyone else gets hurt. He’s 100% going 0-6, and with a massive points deficit (50 points behind 9th place at this point), he would need to go undefeated to make the playoffs. I guess you can wait for 0-7, but I’ll tell you what: it is very fun to give up on winning and start experimenting with pure streaming at every position, especially if you know you have a fat draft wallet coming next year. Caleb is a great late keeper, and multiple teams right now are gearing up to have too many early keepers and will pay up for your early slot next year, and that’s only if James Conner doesn’t come back. No matter what you do trade-wise, you should start prioritizing keepers with your free agent moves. Late-season breakouts will boost your draft pick (though, for some reason, teams that pick in the top two usually have bad seasons), and you’ll have flexibility with your keeper slots and the option to trade late picks for extra late keeper slots. Coming from the guy who added keeper slots for Jeudy and Downs. BUT I did flip Jeudy for Watt, so there’s something there.
How much does Brian want that 2-3 turn back so he can take Marv at 2.12 (okay, prob not even that) and Egbuka over TreVeyon Henderson at 3.01? Like he would give all his FAAB for sure, and then how high of a future pick? A 1st and a 2nd, at least? I’m pissed off I didn’t trade up two spots; Brian actually had the pick with Egbuka on the board still. Fucked up, man. Fucked all the way up. And the fantasy gods took note, and they said you’re not winning shit, you’re not having fun, and your nail in the coffin game is going to be against Egbuka, you slouch, you buffoon, you troll with no bridge, you salamander that crawled back in the water and set evolution back 300 years, you slime.
Evan wins mostly because he has the horses, but he has Christopher Lloyd moving the goal posts and giving back rubs just in case it gets close.
Cameron dropped $31 and was the only person to bid on Calvin Ridley. I almost bid $20-ish, but then out of curiosity I looked at last year’s numbers again. Ridley had double-digit targets in just two games. He had double-digit fantasy points in seven games. The majority of his games were barely flex-worthy, especially when you consider you can get nine points from a return-man scam each week. I drafted Ridley because I’m stupid but also because I expected those numbers to improve. But it’s the same offense. The QB has more potential in reality, but in fantasy, it’s a wash because Levis was pushing the ball downfield just fine. I always compare fantasy QBs to Jameis Winston. My brain is broken, but there’s decent logic. As long as you’re not starting that QB and taking the brunt of his multi-sack, multi-interception games, you get solid production from your receivers, especially the number one receiver. BUT if you’re hovering below ten targets, and the receivers catching half of them, that’s an extremely volatile position to be in. You figure two or three deep shots. If those are misses, then you end up with five fantasy points. If they are hits, you get close to 20. Calvin Ridley’s best game last year was one where he only caught five passes. He had 24 FP. And if your alternative is Ladd McConkey, then yeah, I’d say you had to be aggressive going after the last WR1 on the market. The reason I ultimately didn’t make the bid was two-fold: I’m one of the poorer teams, and I feel like that Ridley range is very similar to what I’ll get from T-Mac, Tee Higgins, and DJ Moore. Do I regret holding Josh Downs while dropping Diggs and Ridley? Yeah, buddy. Yes. I regret it deeply after Diggs revenge-gamed me and the Bills Sunday night to the tune of 22 FP.
Corey is back from the brink following two convincing wins where he topped 170. What’s fueling the run? Matthew Stafford had 35 against Indy, 33 against SF, and he’s about to face the league’s worst D in Baltimore and a fraudulent Jags D before the Rams go on bye, but then he gets to start Stroud against that broken SF defense. So his most important position is thriving, and he’s winning without his best players. Evans went down, then Bucky and Bowers played hurt before missing time, Bijan was on bye last week, and Corey got stronger thanks to Stafford and some clutch pickups. Stef Diggs, Mason Taylor, and Devin Lloyd holy shit. Joey Slye has been kind of a badass: aside from one negative score in Week 4, Slye has been in double digits every week. Stafford was a free agent pickup. Hufanga was a nice add. Corey was near the bottom of the rankings (rightfully one spot above me, I might add!) because of how bleak his Week 5 lineup looked on paper, but if I re-ranked, he would be at least at the top of the middle class, probably 5th overall?
The league is doing double Monday again (dumb), and the fun wrinkle to Corey and Cam’s matchup is that combined they have two players going on Monday, and they are Bijan and Drake. Nails will be bitten. Cameron’s team is better, but I don’t think this is the week to plant that flag. Bo Nix should struggle against a defense whose coach knows the Sean Payton offense inside and out. Ladd actually might rise again as the Chargers need to adapt to not having offensive tackles. He’s the only shifty receiver they have, meaning he’s the likeliest to get open early and get the hot targets when the Dolphins are in the backfield before Herbert gets to complete his drop. But there’s an equal chance that the Chargers just don’t have an answer for pressure and fold and Ladd is under 10 again. But the other options are worse. Olave is a target hog, but he’s not even gaining ten yards per catch. In fact, he is dead last among qualified receivers in yards per catch, around 7, which is about half of what a normal, good WR gets. Calvin Ridley might be worth $31, but you don’t want to compound mistakes by spending $31 and then getting a debut dud in the lineup.
Cameron has the overall kicker and IDP advantage, but DeJean scored 1 FP last night, so Corey has daylight there. Corey also Stafford against the broken Ravens, Bijan against a surprisingly soft Bills D with no chance of covering him as a receiver, and even if they do, it’s to the benefit of Kyle Pitts, who Corey is also starting. If the Falcons aren’t running high-low concepts with Pitts and Bijan, I don’t know what they’re doing, especially since they can do it to the direction defenders aren’t used to moving. JSN against the Jags who just traded away their best corner, Stefon Diggs against a trash Saints secondary. Excellent. The problem with Corey’s lineup is the Jets. Garrett Wilson and Mason Taylor are good players who should lead the team in targets, however, they play against the Broncos this week and even 25 combined targets should only yield like 120 yards and probably no TDs. However, volume is king because all it takes is one little mishap for that 120 to become 200, for zero TDs to become one. And it’s a Europe game (not bothering to name the city because I can’t keep up), so mishaps are the norm.
Ultimately, it’s Cameron who bites the most nail and Corey who eats the almighty W.
Spencer benched Dart for Hurts, which is sad, but Hurts did okay. He kept the ship afloat. Spencer went for the Hurts-DeVonta stack, and hopefully Spencer never sees the replay of the wide open bomb where Hurts overthrew DeVonta for what would have been an 89-yard TD. That TD would have scored Spencer an extra 27.25 points, and I am not exaggerating.
But so Spe has a 48-0 lead with three players done and the CeRBerus of CMC, ETN, and Achane lying in wait. So that’s 110, and then five other players take it to 150 in a normal week, but among those other guys are Michael Pittman against the Cards and Hunter Henry against the Saints, both of whom I could see going for 20, so I think this is a smash week for Spencer.
But every week is a smash week for Max, who just scored 176 in his first loss of the season. But Max deserved that loss because his previous opponents scored 112, 139, and 127, and Max barely won the 112 game. Balance has been achieved. There is no come-uppance on the menu. If anything, Josh Allen will see Spencer across the aisle and turn the heat all the way up after Spe passed on him for CMC in the first round. I’ve often said Max is the Hailee Steinfeld of our league, and whether it’s his true grit or perfect pitch, his team is starving to end this game with a bumblebee—wait, fuck, a… a Dickinson, shit, Sinners, something a… barely lethal… magic bracelet. Whew. Nailed it. Okay. So Josh is good for 40 on Monday night to redeem the loss to the Pats, Jacobs runs all the fuck over the Bengals, Shaheed at worst gets around 10 with the return scam, Davante Da-vours the Ravens makeshift secondary, Kincaid is iffy and honestly not a good bet this week and I would drop Bateman to pivot to Jake Tonges, Chaad gets another bell-cow week, Dobbins is an animal and a machine, and the IDPs aside from DB are beautiful. I really don’t understand what Max is doing at DB, but I am here for it. I thought he overpaid for Surtain, and then when Surtain finally scores points, Max drops him to spend FAAB on Kam Kinchens, who is great but doesn’t score fantasy points either. What are we doing? I think the obvious move is to go back to Jessie Bates following the Falcons bye, but the sleeper move is to start Xavier McKinney against Joe Flacco, who is starting just five days after being acquired by the Bengals, who can’t block, meaning Flacco is just gonna be chucking this thing so he doesn’t get hit, and McKinney is playing centerfield for the Packers, who already faced Flacco once this year and completely owned him (despite losing the game for other reasons).
Spencer ultimately loses by less than the difference between Dart and Hurts. Because fantasy sports are actually about how much fun everyone else can have at your expense.
I’m not excited about this matchup. I spent way too much time comparing free agent QBs this week. I am anticipating Tua outscoring Darnold, since that’s the switch I made after Tua did me pretty well last week. Ultimately I lost last week because I didn’t make the free agent moves I should have, and Corey made the free agents moves he should have. I didn’t make that mistake this week because it took too long for sleeper to rule out my obviously injured players, and so I couldn’t do anything but swap QB on Wednesday, and I won’t do anything but add fliers this weekend. And actually, I added Tykee last week, and that was a great move. Can’t even self-deprecate right (and I even spelled it “depricate” and needed Word to correct me).
I’m not excited, but I’m optimistic. My team is fine. Darnold is fine, and he has a good matchup. The Jags D regression starts now. Derrick Henry will actually get the wildcat work this week since, and I think the reason he didn’t last week is because Monken didn’t want to waste it against the best defense in the league. T-Mac gets Dallas and finally gets in the endzone. DJ Moore gets revenge on Coleman on Monday night. It’s also a revenge game for Darnold, who won Coleman the league last year, who was Coleman’s late keeper, the franchise, 33 FP in the championship game to lead all scorers not named Derrick Henry, who also gets revenge here. And so does TJ Watt. Yeah. Yeah Rocko. Yeah ROCKO. YEAH ROCKO. Yes. This is going to be delicious. I have done it. I have used the written word to alter worlds of perception. I am fucking stoked to bring this mob of cast-offs back to their maker’s door and say, “We’re burning this house to the ground, Geppetto, with you and your Browns STA inside, and MF BILL is going to piss on the ashes!”
Enjoy the week.
