Coleman had the two highest scoring IDPs, including free agents, and that was with Kyle Hamilton dropping the game-winning INT, allowing Jameis’s legend to grow once more. Hamilton scored the same amount as both halves of Bobby Time. Just wagging that Golden Dome around. Coleman saw Kennedy eyeing the throne and had him executed on the spot. I thought I had it bad facing two tush pushes last week. Kennedy was on the receiving end of three brotherly shoves (probably more on both accounts; I’m just counting the TDs). I will say, Kennedy deserved to lose just for starting Sterling Shepard. Kalif Raymond was sitting right there. When in doubt, quadruple down on the league’s best offense. Monty and Gibbs combined for 40+ again, and Rhamondre came back to life. Basically nothing else good happened, but the Nico injury tanked Stroud. Once he comes back Week 10 (against Detroit!), you’ll have a team again.
Coleman stays on top, becoming only the second team to break 200 this season. So let’s isolate a weakness. Harold Landry is not an everyweek dude (he’s fine next week; don’t srop). Most DLs aren’t everyweek players. Is there a third dude named TJ out there you can throw in this IDP room for the playoff run? (Spoiler: there are three, but they are trash.) Why haven’t we been making a bigger deal that Coleman also decided he needed two IDPs with the same boy-ish name? Is it just expected of twins, so it’s overkill to mention it? Literally no one else is doing this, even at Kennedy’s behest! And why didn’t Coleman pick the TJs in the cash game? They outscored his choice by like 20!
Jayden Daniels pretty much fucked Brian over for his loyalty this week. If Brian had just stuck with Bo Nix, he’d have won by five or six. Instead, he loses by about three, meaning he could have won if he had just started any of his bench players over Jalen McMillan. Honestly, I get it. McMillan had more points this week than any of those guys had last week. Just drives home how not-meant-to-be it was. How meant-to-be it wasn’t? Whatever. At least Brian doesn’t have QB controversy. Jayden is that fucking duuude, putting up 28 against one of the league’s best defenses. Bo Nix goes back to playing against real teams next week.
Oliver has QB controversy. Caleb Williams was coming off of a nice stretch against bad defenses, getting a black-box matchup against a Commanders’ defense that was supposed to get good eventually and might have arrived now; this really isn’t the game to decide that. Caleb Williams is pretty bad. Just watch him play. Granted, he’s pretty bad in this Bears’ offense. Shane Waldron is bad. Shane Waldron is so bad it makes me mad. Because the NFL coaching ranks and middle-management tier in general is such a boys’ club that this dude is just going to keep getting work despite, like, negative acumen. He pretty objectively makes his players worse. Except the RBs, I guess, but we have evidence that he’s not maximizing them. Look what’s happened to Ken Walker since Waldron left Seattle. And keep in mind defenses are more concerned with the incidental insane receiving talent than anything Waldron’s doing scheme-wise. Meanwhile, Justin Herbert is, well, a good QB. His 30 against the Saints is double his previous season-high, and that was against Carolina. This offense kind of sucks, but at least they are letting Herbert rip it now. His passing yards have gone 144, 130, 125, 179, bye, 237, 349, 279, and he’s able to run around more than he was the first month of the season. But those last two: Cards and Saints. Cards have a terrible defense, Saints have a terrible offense without Carr and so the opposing offense gets the ball all game long. Next week, Caleb gets the Cards, Herbert gets the Browns. Oliver’s probably safe starting Caleb one more time, then it’s probably just time to trade for a QB. Max should be ready by then.
George Kittle continues to be one of the best picks of our draft.
Spencer wins his matchup (for the first time in a month), and they win cash (for the first time all year). They do it by doing what Kennedy told us was necessary: discarding one’s own honor. Spencer started the Chiefs’ workhorse RB, and while they would have scored even more points just starting Mostert, there’s no way to untangle the butterfly effect. Besides, Max’s STA neutralized Spencer’s. (side note: the reason Brian lost was his insistence on not only starting but practically bragging about starting the Chiefs’ kicker, when there was no balancing force on Oliver’s side. This is why Brian’s bench went nuclear. It’s science.) I don’t know if Spencer’s win this week gets them back in the mix for a playoff spot, but it’s a step in the right direction.
Max is pretty much dust. There was a time when he could count on the points tiebreaker if he got into a rat king situation, but for one thing, he needs to actually win a game again ever, and for two, he’s stopped scoring points. I mean, he’s scoring an okay amount of points, enough to stay ahead of the worst teams, but he’s losing ground with the actual playoff contenders. Evan jumped him this week, and Cameron closed the gap enough that one more week like this would see him pass Max, too. Max needs to go at least 4-2 to close the season, which means winning twice as many games in the final six weeks as he did in the first eight.
Yep. Three RBs totalling just under 600 pounds give Cameron just enough foundation for CeeDee Lamb’s late-inning heroics to put him over the top. Now, he beat Shelby by 19, but that’s including Shelby’s decision to keep Oluokun on the bench for Dorian Williams (real dude, promise). Put Oluokun in, and have the 49ers’ defenders not tackle each other on Lamb’s second TD, and that’s the difference between winning and losing.
So Cameron wins, Shelby drops to dead last. Shelby’s still a six-game winning streak away from making the playoffs, and she outscored four teams this week without anything insane happening. Oh wait, Kyle Pitts. Nevermind. Hmm. It’s pretty bleak. But still, probably prudent to actually lose that seventh game. But given the wave of injuries hitting the league, those of us who are inclined to sell soon are probably willing to sell now if we get the right offer. Shelby has players I would trade for (which... is… saying what it’s saying… sigh). Basically, if you want Burrow and Chase (Oliver, Kennedy, Cameron could use them) I think you should try to get your offer in before the fire sale offcially commences.
Evan is back. He started his optimal lineup, and he finished third in points this week. Sorry to say, he’s only back for a limited time. He’s the McRib. You’re really riding that line between nostalgia and diarrhea. Baker had a huge game against Atlanta’s defense, incapable of generating pressure, and next week he gets the Chiefs, who were already elite before acquiring Josh Uche to bolster the pass-rush rotation. Meanwhile Evan made a trade. He certainly made a trade, allegedly offering DeVonta for Hopkins a few days ago, only to have Sean hit accept Monday evening. The real mystery is why Sean waited at all. Hopkins was already approaching washedness, he’s playing on a torn meniscus, and now he’s in a situation where he doesn’t even know the playbook. It would be one thing if he were still a team’s top option in the passing game, but I don’t think that team exists anymore, not a contending team. He would be the Bucs’ best receiver while Evans is out. Everyone else had a better #1. I think the Chiefs preferred Adams and Cooper, and the Raiders and Browns refused to trade to them. Hopkins is a (barely) walking consolation prize, and his role is going to be dude who can get the occasional bucket but mostly just to draw coverage away from Kelce and the fast guys.
Corey is 3-5, McCaffrey is supposed to be back in Week 10, and Corey has the role players to surround a stud RB. He has two legit QBs, a stud WR, a stud TE, and pretty consistent double-digits from Bucky, Mooney, and Meyers. Parsons should be back to shore up IDP. If Corey can somehow scam a win against Sean next week, that should be enough to get him rolling toward stealing that final playoff spot (Kennedy, Cameron, Brian, and Oliver beware).
Sean torched me, but really it came down to three lineup spots: Chubb, Chuba, and Javonte vs. Saquon, Cook, and Conner. Three RBs that combined for 22 against three RBs that combined for 66. Sean won by 34. I had him matched 75% of the way. He also had like 800 points on the bench, but that’s the not what I’m choosing to focus on. I put together as good a team as you can without your top five picks. That’s where Sean drafted these RBs. With picks I just didn’t have. Which is why I’m glad I’m one step closer to missing the playoffs. I don’t have the impulse control to sit on future picks when this year’s championship is in my line of sight. I just wish I had players worth higher future picks. I don’t see myself trading Chubb or Thomas when I can keep both. I’ll probably hang onto Chuba for the chance he gets signed as a starter next season. Come get these TEs and Tee Higgins. Let me go back to Taysom Hill without remorse.
But hey, Jameis, baby! He might have thrown nine dropped INTs, but he outscored each of Sean’s QBs! And he beat one of the best teams in the league. And he locked in starter status for the Browns and for my fantasy team until those picks start being caught!
The return of Puka Nacua and the trade for DeVonta Smith should finally settle Sean’s WR issues. (Even Tillman and Ridley look like their teams’ #1s right now.) All he needs to do is wait for a couple teams to drop out so he can throw out some cheap picks for IDPs. It would feel good to make a big splash for Allen or Lamar, and the three-peat would mean three new rules, so Sean could build a trap-door to get out of setting next year’s draft picks on fire, but I think if Spencer and Max are smart about it, they can get other teams to outbid Sean for those guys anyway.
Well, what have we learned? Nothing? Nothing sounds about right. It’s too early to quit, too late to improve through free agency. Here are this week’s waiver studs, just for kicks:
1. Derek Carr
2. Isaac Guerendo
3. Taysom Hill
4. EJ Speed
5. Josey Jewell
6. Josh Downs
7. Adam Thielen
8. Kirk Cousins
9. Joe Flacco
10. Chad Ryland
Welcome to the dog days of the fantasy season.
