We are through seven weeks. The fantasy regular season is 14 weeks long. 14 divided by two is seven. That’s half. Here’s some stuff:
PF: 896 (12th most)
PA: 981 (9th fewest)
Moves: 9 (11th most)
Messages: 119 (3rd most)
Shelby is a couple key lineup decisions away from being 4-3, but even at 2-5, she’s just three games back of first place. You’d think a team can’t hold last place in scoring for an entire season, and you’d be wrong. Brian did it last year.
It starts with the draft: Shelby keeps Kittle and Rachaad, which were the right moves at the time. She opens her draft with Diggs at 1.06, awesome choice. She takes a risk on Gibbs, doesn’t quite work out, not in the context of needing your second-round pick to score points before Week 7. Third round: Dak Prescott. It’s so over. She was backed into a corner. The QBs picked before and after Dak: Big Perv and Anthony Richardson. So that cheerleader effect got Dak looking like pure sex. Follow it up with inspired picks of DJ Moore, TJ Watt, Devin White, and Jordan Addison. Moore won you a game by himself. Watt leads IDPs in scoring. White has let you down. Addison is picking up where Justin Jefferson left off, but as with Gibbs, the wait was rough. Next five picks: QJ, Sauce, Jamaal, Love, Zeke. Nope. Not a hit among them. Jamaal made sense. He was supposed to keep your head above water for the first three weeks. Instead, he grabbed your ankles and let all the air out of his body. Close out the draft with Hyatt, Thibs, “C. Brown,” and your kicker. Not terrible process, but the picks busted. There has to be more middle ground between rookies and has-beens.
Now, what can Shelby do to avoid back-to-back last-place finishes?
Improve bench depth with free agent moves. As of Tuesday, her bench consists of Dak, Zeke, QJ, Kelley, Tutu, and Jamaal Williams. She’s holding onto to Dak; she’s obsessed with QB controversy. Zeke has secured a split-backfield role behind an improving(?) offensive line. QJ is a first-round rookie. Kelley is a solid flex as long as he’s not actually starting for the Chargers. Jamaal Williams should secure first downs and touchdowns as he gets further out from his hamstring injury. Tutu plays a large percentage of snaps and scores a TD every other week. He was a solid starter when Kupp was out. QJ’s career ceiling is, like, Gabe Davis. So there’s reason for optimism. Zeke, Jam, and Kelley gotta go. Yes, you’re giving up the occasional double-digit week. You need to chase higher upside.
Improve the starting lineup outright, which to me means upgrading the spot occupied by Rachaad White every week. Because our standings are condensed right now, nobody has a safe cushion. Many teams had a tough Week 7 and could be looking to shake things up. Four RBs who would be upgrades over White, who wouldn’t be terribly difficult to acquire: Josh Jacobs, Chuba Hubbard, Joe Mixon, and Rhamondre Stevenson.
The easiest thing to do would be to trust the process. Your team is heating up, and you’re about to face some weaker competition the next few weeks. If you steal a couple games and end up 4-5, you can debate spending a pick to buy a player from a team that drops their next two games. If everything goes wrong and you’re 2-7, that’s toast. At that point, you sell off Diggs, Gibbs, Herbert, and Dak. You stack 2024 picks, keep the Jerry on your mantle for another year, and storm back next season.
PF: 969 (7th)
PA: 953 (3rd)
Moves: 18 (7th)
Messages: 58 (10th)
Coleman had a sick draft, good enough to get him into the top six of the post-draft rankings, which were season-long predictions. He kept Herbert and Walker, he opened the draft with Bijan, Olave, Deebo, and Dobbins. That should have been a stacked lineup. Now, Walker is the only one holding up. Next four picks: Bolton, Muth, Hutch, Butker. Insanely hot group of role players. We’re up to three, maybe four players whose seasons are defined by injuries. End of the draft: Allgeier, Poyer, Mayer, Mostert, Budda, Mingo. Inspired. Handcuff your first-rounder with one of the few backups with standalone value. Make the best pick of the draft in Mostert (then refuse to play him for a month). A couple rookie picks that didn’t hit. But you can see how this could have gone very, very well.
It is all about to fall apart so quickly, and you can’t fault Coleman’s mini-spree of trades. He won his matchup immediately following the trades, then Purdy and Rhamondre outscored Herbs and Bijan this past week. But without Deebo and Trent Williams, Purdy’s pretty bad. Raheem Mostert gets brutal matchups. The next two weeks, Purdy and Kittle face a tough Bengals’ defense and a bye. Mostert’s next three weeks are the defibrillated Pats, the Chiefs, and a bye. Deebo will be out until Week 10. Ken Walker gets Cleveland then Baltimore. Your best players the next two weeks will be Rhamondre and Odell. You’re welcome. You’re also fucked. You’re almost definitely going to be 2-7, and your best trade asset just spent a night in jail. (Ken Walker is technically your best trade asset, but he’s a keeper). Move Mostert while he’s healthy and Achane is not.
I don’t think there’s a process to trust here. Your team is broken, and by the time it gets right, it’ll be too late. Kiss the playoffs goodbye, but keep your 49ers and try to win the #1 pick and spend it on CMC next year.
PF: 950 (10th)
PA: 955 (4th)
Mvs: 21 (5th)
Msgs: 49 (9th)
After keeping Trevor and Garrett Wilson, Spencer had luck on his side when Josh Allen fell to him at 1.04. He could have taken Allen, traded Trevor, and shaped his team around a truly elite QB. Instead, he chose Ja’Marr Chase, and Chase’s best game was better than Allen’s best game so far. So okay. Next six picks: Aaron Jones, Calvin Ridley, James Cook, Chris Godwin, Dallas Goedert, Foye Oluokun. Straight fire. The Packers were going to need to lean on the run, Ridley was going to resurrect his career, Cook gets the backfield to himself, Godwin is awesome, Goedert is a top-five TE, Oluokun is a potential #1 IDP. Then Spencer, feeling security, just started swinginggg: Toney, Roschon, Gabe, Kincaid, Tank Dell, Skyy… rough hit-rate there. Toney is over. Roschon had like half a good game, had the starter go down but then went down himself. Gabe Davis is unstartable in fantasy despite the big-play potential. Kincaid was a reach that will pay off now. Tank Dell is a star, but can he stay on the field? Skyy Moore is dirt. Close the draft with Chinn, Doubs, Barrett, McManus, Edmunds. Chinn didn’t hit, Doubs hit for his price, Barrett didn’t hit, McManus is huge, Edmunds is also huge but you cut him. Still, I had you making the playoffs, and the reason you’re outside looking in is kind of unfair. Garrett Wilson was going to challenge for WR1 with Rodgers. Aaron Jones was going to lead the Packers in touches. Not happening.
This Jags-Bills lineup sure is something. Oddly enough, it’s working? You don’t have the best player from either team, but you’re getting great games when you need them. Yeah, you’re 3-4, but that’s two games out of first place, and that’s with Trevor and Ridley playing below expectation. You just got a big win with your first-round pick on bye. We’ve seen a two-TE team win the championship, so we’d love to see you get there starting Goedert and Kincaid every week. You’re getting weird-bad years from Aaron Jones and Garrett Wilson, but you can bench them and still like the look of your lineup.
UPDATE: SPENCER TRADES! He moved Godwin and Goedert, he said no god for me, I don’t care how you spell it, and he brought in Javonte Williams, Rashod Bateman, and Christian Kirk (plus a 2024 7th).
PF: 956 (9th)
PA: 976 (6th)
Mvs: 7 (12th)
Msgs: 74 (5th)
Max went into the draft with Breece Hall and Adam Thielen, arguably our worst keepers. He opened the draft with Barkley, Metcalf, Perv, and friends, I was not hopeful. Next three picks: Keenan, Njoku, Zaire. Can’t hate on the picks. Two great players, and the Browns QB-TE stack had potential. Next three picks: Pittman, Dillon, Pitre. Welcome to the realization that AJ Dillon isn’t worth a draft pick. You really have to experience it first-hand to understand. Pitre didn’t work out, but it made sense. Close the draft with Schultz, Bass, Highsmith, Wilkins, McKinnon, Mooney, Stafford, and Justin Simmons, most of whom have helped you win, with only Mooney and McKinnon paying out zero. You had to take McKinnon. He won you games in the postseason. My main criticism would be a lack of upside in the picks, but looking back at who was available, the upside barrel was scraped pretty clean before we even got to the tenth round.
Max started the season 2-0, and then in Week 3 he posted his highest score of the season at 163. He lost by 20, and then he lost three straight after that. He sits at 3-4 after the weakest win we’ve seen this year, 122 points, 9th in scoring on the week. But a win. A 3-4 record, a solid shot at sneaking into the playoffs. Making Tim proud. Barkley is back, Gus Edwards is taking over the Ravens’ backfield, Thielen is somehow elite, literally elite, Pittman and Keenan are locking down your other starting spots, and you’ve cobbled together a competitive IDP group.
You need a QB, a real QB. Stafford has been good in reality, mediocre in fantasy. You gotta wash your hands of the Perv. You can smell the warm mushroom soup from here. The Breece Hall trade hurt, but LaPorta and Gus are making it bearable. To get a QB, you’re probably going to have to trade a pick. Maybe it’s not worth it. Maybe you see what Stafford can do and you settle for finishing near the middle of the league. But consider this: Oliver has Mahomes and Kyler. Shelby has Herbert and Dak. Shake those trees. Free agents Minshew and Carr have back-to-back 300-yard games. Keep Stafford, but try to scam for a difference-maker.
PF: 1102 (1st)
PA: 1069 (12th)
Mvs: 26 (4th)
Msgs: 604 (1st)
This is maximum fantasy football: scoring a shit-ton of points, getting a shit-ton of points scored on you, feeling like a championship contender, sitting in eighth place. Highly recommend.
We all know my draft was sick, but let’s recap it for fun. I kept my bb Lamar and good ol’ Rhamondre. Kennedy gave me the first pick, which I spent on CMC without deliberation. At the 3.01, I locked up Mike Evans with a keeper year. The things got weird: Waller, Roquan, Dotson, Kamara, Hopkins. Dotson was the worst pick I’ve made since that time I drafted Jordy Nelson in the 2nd not knowing he’d torn his ACL earlier that day. I will be thinking about Dotson over Watt forever, especially since I got Garrett later. Garrett, Watt, and Dotson were the only three players in serious consideration for the pick. Roquan is a dude. Kamara is a dude, and the gamble there super worked when I went 2-1 during his suspension. Hopkins is still a dude, but what does that mean when there’s nobody to throw to you? The only downside of Hopkins is that he’s seemingly untradeable. Next picks: Tucker, Christian Kirk, Garrett. Incredible. Tucker is just 14th in kicker points, but do I give a shit? I don’t. The magic of Tucker is that I don’t have to think about him. Christian Kirk is the Jags’ top receiver AGAIN, and he softens the blow of the Dotson/Hopkins disaster. Garrett is a front-runner (tied with Parsons and Watt) for DPOY. Next four picks: Mitchell, Mims, OBJ, Lavonte. Three whiffs and a player flipped for a 2024 8th. Close the draft with Jamal Adams and Jayden Reed, which is how late-round flier work, people.
Look, the points tell the story. I’m scoring the points. Granted, it’s a little skewed after getting myself up at 8th all-time on weekly high scores list this past week. I also had 173 in a loss, so…
I’ve pretty much made my moves. The Bijan trade is so, so bad right now, and I want to say no worries, but some worries, bro. Some worries. Why am I spending bench spots backing up my RBs? I don’t know. It feels like the smart thing to do. I just dropped Mitchell, and Kendre Miller is on the hot seat. Obviously can’t cut Allgeier if he’s going to score 15 FP on a good run defense in games where Bijan has migraine. But if the migraines don’t get reported, what does it even matter? Had that been reported, had I been able to put Allgeier in the lineup, I would have ended up 3rd on the all-time list!
So yeah, I’m standing pat, and if I lose, I will dump everything for a record number of picks and pay the $80 shipping to bring the Jerry to Seattle.
PF: 909 (11th)
PA: 1027 (10th)
Moves: 12 (10th)
Msgs: 25 (12th)
Corey kept Burrow and Lockett, which was cool until he spectacularly bungled the second overall pick. The pick was Chase, it was always Chase, and now you have to suffer the slide from 3-1 to 4-3 to eventually 6-8, when all along, the only number you needed to worry about was 7-11, always open. Shame. Just look at these picks through the fifth: Najee, Waddle, Pitts, McLaurin. Waddle is exciting, but he can’t stay on the field. The rest of them are, let’s say ascending, but you’re still stuck under a 17-point ceiling for each of them. Next three picks: Warner, Dalvin, Rodgers. Warner is awesome. The Dalvin-Rodgers pairing made sense at the time. Don’t hate it. But you had Burrow, so I don’t love it. Next three: McPherson, Otton, Donald. Love these picks. Love Cade Otton. Legitimately see no difference between him and Dallas Goedert. Final five picks: Winfield, Boyd, TreyPalm, Singletary, T.Diggs. Dropping Winfield before Week 1 hurts. That Singletary pick looks great right now. TreyPalm has yet to ignite—does napalm ignite? Incend? TreyPalm has yet to incend, but the threat is there if Baker can learn how to throw on his tippy-toes. Boyd… what a troll pick to wink at the Chase snub.
Worst 4-3 team ever? 11th in scoring! Teams 9th, 10th, and 12th in scoring are in the bottom four in the standings. Corey’s on his way. But I’ll say this: if Burrow returns to greatness, if the Steelers’ offense can play like this against anyone better than the Rams, if Waddle can stay out of the blue medical tent, if Geno Smith can throw a downfield pass on-target, if Some Trash Asshole fully takes over the Browns’ backfield... if all of those things happen, Corey has the IDP group to sustain a playoff run.
At 4-3, with a poor roster, I don’t think you can wait for the losing. I think you need to trade a pick for a player and force a win so that when Justin Jefferson comes back in Week 10 or 11, you’re sitting around .500 instead of at 4-7.
PF: 969 (8th)
PA: 978 (7th)
Moves: 36 (1st)
Msgs: 44 (11th)
This team name no longer checks out, and what a disgrace. Asante Samuel Jr. outscored each of your IDPs this week. Get it together.
But okay, draft time: Brian took the biggest swings of the draft. He took Josh Allen in the first, and he took an injured player (“injured” player) Jonathan Taylor in the second. He used Sean’s first to select Kupp, then Kupp went on IR. 3rd-5th he picked Mark Andrews, Miles Sanders, and JSN. Andrews is amazing, Sanders lost his job and got hurt, JSN broke his wrist but looks 100% now. 6-9 he took Mike Williams (out for year), Derwin (missing games with multiple injuries), Brian Robinson (dropped before Week 1, giving Sean fits), Khalil Herbert (IR), Antonio Gibson (plays WR now?), Bryce Young (too small), sorry that’s into the tenth. 11 on, Brian picks Trey Burks (RIP to his career), Perine (what), Jaylen Warren (solid but not stealing the job), Elijah Moore (nope), Brian Burns (yes), Damien Harris (yeesh), Queen (dropped), Judon (IR), Jameis (fun!), to go with keepers Cam Akers (now a backup), and Drake London. Drake London was not an exciting keeper. Brian was backed into a corner, and it looked real bad Week 1 with zero catches on one target. Drake London now looks like that top-10 pick Atlanta spent on him. The Falcons are sink-or-swimming Desmond Ridder, really finding out what they have for a full season, letting him air it out, and London is the main beneficiary.
But good god, for all that to go down and for Brian to be 4-3 with Allen, Taylor, and Kupp leading the way now, I dare say it’s his year. It’s no surprise his current team doesn’t resemble that draft, as he had to drop six players before the season even started—well, chose to. He could have and should have held everybody and punted Week 1. It wouldn’t have changed much, but he would have Brian Robinson, if nothing else. Brian has been a dawg in free agency, adding two starting RBs (Ford and Hubbard) and a starting WR (Palmer) to fill out a pretty scary little roster if he could get his IDP situation in order. It’s Brian’s year It’s Brian year It’s Brian year I say into the bathroom mirror with the lights off and a single candle burning.
Would I make a trade if I were Brian? Yes. I would not go into the playoffs with Hubbard, Ford, and Palmer as my flex options. JSN is coming on. Maybe by playoff time, it’s JSN. Maybe Cam Akers steals the Minnesota job. You can’t bank on any of that. But you can moneyball it until the trade deadline and throw a pick or two at some stars. At 4-3 with the likelihood of snagging a playoff spot, you have that privilege.
PF: 976 (6th)
PA: 937 (2nd)
Moves: 35 (2nd)
Msgs: 63 (7th)
For once, Oliver is not bouncing to one extreme or another. After having limited draft capital, he has a middle-of-the-road team playing middle-of-the-road ball. Which is relatively easy to accomplish when your keepers were Mahomes and Pacheco. Investing in Chiefs’ players who have consistent workloads is as good of a guarantee as this game provides.
Oliver went into the week before the draft with no 2nd, 3rd, or 4th. Also no 9th. He traded the rights to Kelce for Kennedy’s 2.12. He spent his first pick on Nick Chubb, which was superb until it was the worst thing ever. He followed that with Mixon, Javonte, Aiyuk, and Diontae, all at good value. Mahomes, Chubb, Pacheco, Aiyuk, Diontae, and the option between Mixon and Javonte a FX2, money. Just get some solid dep—oh no. With his 8th and 9th picks, Oliver takes Joey Bosa (perennial underachiever) and Isaiah Simmons (traded to a new team like a week prior). One pick behind Bosa, Coleman drafted Hutch. You’d like to have that one back. The Simmons pick happens a few picks before Khalil Herbert, who would have been RB overkill but also could have become a trade-for-WR piece. Round 10-12, Oliver takes Bateman, Kmet, and Sutton, which honestly looks pretty good. Bateman was hurt and now plays like, idk, the bishop role on Baltimore’s chess board, but he’s not a terrible bye-week fill-in. Sutton is a steal. As the Payton offense jells in Denver, Sutton improves week-to-week and just had his best week. He already has five TDs. Oliver can start him every week. Kmet popped with Fields, and he will pop again when Fields returns. Oliver closes his draft with Koo, Will Anderson, Kyler Murray, and Shaq Leonard, eventually dropping everyone but Murray, who is one week from returning to the field, who either acts as a trade piece for the second flex Oliver still needs or allows Oliver to move Mahomes for a massive haul.
So the cautionary tale of not dumping all of your picks for a playoff run, it doesn’t exist. Dump those picks and be aggressive at every phase of the game, and you, too, can lose in the playoffs every year. Just imagine where this team would be with Chubb, especially with the Browns’ QBs playing like dog shit. Oliver would definitely make it to the second round of the playoffs before panic-benching a 30-point player.
PF: 989 (5th)
PA: 966 (5th)
Moves: 31 (3rd)
Msgs: 54 (8th)
Sean also moved significant draft capital for a championship run. It paid off as well as it can, and it should fuel our collective fire to move picks for players really any time after Week 4, which I believe is when Sean traded a 3rd for CeeDee Lamb, with the condition that if Sean won it all, the 3rd would become a 1st. He moved a 4th for Henry, which we won’t talk about since it didn’t help him anyway, and he moved a 10th for Bosa.
Pretty much by default on both counts, Sean kept Jalen Hurts and Alexander Mattison. Hurts is still money. Mattison is the Canadian nickel you find in a jacket you haven’t worn since last winter (maybe that’s a living up north thing).
Sean starts his draft at 2.01 with Derrick Henry because some people never learn. He follows with Amari Cooper because I swiped Waller out from under him. (Which, holy shit I didn’t even talk about Waller, who was looking like another busted TE pick before Tyrod Taylor got the call for the Giants. I would gladly lose my slap bet to Max if it meant Darren Waller lived up to his potential and his draft capital.) Sean’s deeply regretting not just pivoting to Hockenson. After waiting another 24 picks, Sean takes James Conner and Hollywood Brown back-to-back. This should have been etched into his tombstone, but Arizona funneled the entire offense through those two players for the first month, so it looks decent now, even with Conner on IR. Rounds 7-9, Sean takes Zay Flowers, Zach Charbonnet, and Michael Thomas. Zay Flowers was an inspired choice and great payback for my Waller pick. I still don’t know how I picked either DeAndre Hopkins or Christian Kirk over him. Sean closes the draft with Chig Okonkwo, Tank Bigsby, Jakobi Meyers, Jason Myers, and Jeff Wilson, basically four nothings and an absolute steal. Maybe Jeff Wilson becomes something, but idk. I think he gets bottled up in two tough matchups, hits the bye, then Achane comes back. Jakobi Meyers is exactly what Sean needed. Excellent selection.
Because Sean didn’t replace his picks, he got to pick the bones of free agency with empty roster slots. That’s how he scored Danielle Hunter post-draft, which just makes me want to never draft IDPs again. The real story is that when you win the championship and pick last, you start the year first in waiver priority, which is how Sean ends up adding Puka Nacua after Week 1. He also scored Brian Robinson after nobody else put in a bid, and this was after Sean made a huge stink about not being able to add Robinson on Sunday morning when Brian dropped him. Wild. Without those two crucial adds, Sean’s maybe 10th in the standings?
So at least for a year, I don’t think anyone trades with Sean. Just ice him for a year and prevent the back-to-back championships. Just kidding, kind of. Sean’s team isn’t very good, and I doubt one pick for player gets him back to the finals. But two? Three? If it works once, why stop?
UPDATE: I APOLOGIZE FOR GIVING SEAN AMMO. I've never been one to take my own advice. I saw a three-way opportunity and couldn’t let it pass me by. Blame it on the FSU. Blame it on the F-F-F-F-F-F-SU.
PF: 995 (4th)
PA: 1004 (9th)
Moves: 13 (9th)
Msgs: 165 (2nd)
Cameron made no deals for picks last year. He traded Ja’Marr Chase to Sean for Cordarrelle Patterson and Mike Williams. I’d have to look it up, but I believe that was the deal. So tell me again that two-for-ones can’t get done.
Cameron kept Josh Jacobs and Tony Pollard. He kept Jacobs over Etienne despite the whole contract standstill thing for Jacobs, and that has to hurt a little. He opens the draft with Some Trash Asshole, DeVonta Smith, and Tee Higgins, which is solid process but man those results stiiiink. How are you 4-3? What the hell is this league? Okay follow that up with Hock, Dimes, Maxx Crosby, and Achane. Solid across the board. No notes. Danny Dimes is going to win me a slap bet by the grace of Big Perv not wanting to work when he can get paid to sit around. Cameron continues to pepper the WR spot with Cooks and Jameson, with CJ Mosley in between. It’s literally just STA breaking receiving records, that’s what’s keeping you afloat at this position. Got it. And we close the draft with Carlson, Brisker, Logan Wilson, Gainwell, Juwan Johnson, and Geno Smith, mostly drops who haven’t been picked up again because they suck. Logan Wilson has been great. Gainwell has been pretty much the epitome of a 14th-round pick who got one start.
Cameron has almost 1,000 points halfway through the year, and there’s no sustainability to it, evidenced by the worst week of our season, a 77-point dud against Shelby. Cameron’s entire bench was byes, including two excellent IDPs, a stud RB, and the best rookie kicker imaginable. He would have had at least 110 if those guys played. Lol.
Having a bunch of byes out of the way is huge, but Cameron needs a QB. He dumped Cousins, and it looks like a huge mistake. Cousins torched the 49ers, Justin Jefferson is due back in two weeks, and Evan scooped Cousins off waivers. Cameron is starting Jared Goff, but no doubt that feels worse than starting Cousins, even before this week. Shelby and Oliver, the race to fleece Cameron is on. Honestly, Evan should offer up Tua, give Cameron the Dolphin stack, and come away with Hockenson in the deal. Maybe that’s far-fetched. I feel like it’s on the table.
PF: 1067 (2nd)
PA: 1065 (11th)
Moves: 17 (8th)
Msgs: 117 (4th)
This should have been a worse year for Kennedy, mostly because that’s how I predicted it in the post-draft note, partly because I’m jealous that he’s one spot behind me in both points for and points against, yet he’s two games up on me in the standings. We’ll never know.
Kennedy dealt his way to keeping Kelce and Fields, then passing up Christian McCaffrey to take Austin Ekeler and Travis Etienne. He followed with Davante Adams and Christian Watson—okay, I’m understanding why I feel like his season should be farther from the rails. 5-9, he drafts Parsons, Montgomery, Jeudy, JuJu. That’s two league-winners and two warm bodies. He went Bobby Time at the 10-11 turn, and he closed the draft with Lazard, Dugger, Kendre, Stroud, and Zay Jones, of which only Stroud remains.
Despite going into the Week 1 melee without Kelce and Watson, Kennedy only needed 130 to secure a victory, and he got 136, including 63 combined from Ekeler, Etienne, and Montgomery. That’s the holy trinity of his season. If those three can get back into his lineup at the same time for three playoff games, Kennedy has as good a chance as anybody to bring home whatever our winner’s trophy is. Is it Rick? Morty? No idea. Kennedy went on the lowest-key heater imaginable when he only needed 123 to win in Week 2 and got 129. Then he went on a legitimate heater, scoring 189, 159, and 194, winning two of three. In the last two weeks, he’s scored 127 and 130, losing both, the keys there being the Fields and Montgomery injuries and Ekeler and Adams playing poorly. I don’t know what to say about Zack Moss, but he was also a big factor in the wins.
Kennedy doesn’t neeeed to do anything right now. He needs Ekeler and Adams to perform better, and he needs Fields and Montgomery to come back and be what they were before they left. That will likely not happen until Week 10. Say Kennedy drops another three for a total of five straight losses, he’s still just 4-6, with another heater in him to finish 8-6 or 7-7. I never know if 7-7 is enough to make the playoffs. I believe that’s how you find yourself twisted in a rat king, in which case Kennedy shooould have an edge in total points, even after this month-long schneid.
Kennedy cooould trade for a WR. Watson is hurt again, but it’s seemingly minor this time. With WR depth of Josh Reynolds, Jerry Jeudy, and Marvin Mims, he will trade for a WR eventually, but it’s probably okay to wait until the deadline to land a big fish.
PF: 1027 (3rd)
PA: 894 (1st)
Moves: 21 (6th)
Msgs: 72 (6th)
Evan hasn’t made a move since October 7th, which is impressive to me, a living breathing pair of pants made of ants.
Evan’s keepers were AJB and Pickens, and he opened the draft double-tapping WR with Lamb and SunGod. It was an inspired strategy, even factoring in he was backed into that corner when Oliver took Nick Chubb in front of him in the 1st and then Sean took Derrick Henry in front of him in the 2nd. I assume Evan would have taken Amon-Ra regardless but can’t imagine he preferred Lamb to Chubb. Desperately needing RB near the end of the 3rd, he scooped up Dameon Pierce, who felt like a great pick at the time. We have to see how the Texans handle their RBs coming out of the bye. Devin Singletary was starting to take over. Yards per carry isn’t the best stat to evaluate RB performance, but Pierce averaging under 3.5 in every single game this year is pretty damning, as the Texans’ line was receiving a lot of praise. Keep in mind Singletary has averaged over 3.5 yards per carry in four straight games. Rounds 4-6: Richardson, Bosa, Swift. So the Pierce whiff matters not, as Swift has had a floor of 12 FP and a ceiling of 33. Tough break on Richardson. Bosa has not been worth the massive contract the 49ers gave him. Through seven games, he has 2.5 sacks. Rounds 7-9: Engram, Penny, Reddick. The Penny-Swift combo was perfect. We didn’t know what the Eagles were planning, but we knew these were the only two RBs on the roster who looked like starting RBs, and best-case scenario was that one would be everything and the other would be nothing. Perfect execution. Reddick was never going to make the team behind Bosa, but I believe Bosa had yet to sign his contract at that point, so again, good move there. Rounds 10 on: Hufanga (bust), Greenlaw (solid but dropped), Al-Shaair (you know!), Tua (epic), Jake Elliot, a guy named Evan, and best 16th-round pick ever Sam LaPorta, who Evan flipped for Breece fucking Hall.
Evan has been a semi-predictable juggernaut, fueled by an asterisked as fuck championship loss. We are blessed to see him with only two losses, as it means there’s hope one of us can get the best of him in the playoffs. All five of Evan’s wins came consecutively on scores of 130, 150, 158, 156, and 186. Let me know how y’all are winning games with 130 FP. The two times I scored 130 or less, I lost by 40 both times.
What do you get for the man who has everything? I would say QB, as Tua’s playoff schedule is NYJ, DAL, BAL, quite possibly the best three defenses in the league. But Evan scooped up Kirk Cousins, whose playoff schedule is CIN, DET, GB. Not terrible defenses, but definitely mortal ones, and Cousins plays those final two games at home. It’s too early to be thinking about playoff matchups because there are a lot of injuries left to come, but after watching his Eagles dismantle the Dolphins’ offense, Evan smartly devised another great backup plan. That’s winning football, a sport where like half of all plays accomplish absolutely nothing. The only thing Evan needs at this point is a more reliable DX than Ernie Jones, and it’s the easiest position to fill. You can wait right up until game time and find someone who will score 15 FP any given week.
Look, some of y’all need help. You’re holding onto low-upside or flat-out no-upside players when there’s still meat on the bone in free agency. Shake. Things. Up.
QB
Russell Wilson is QB8 right now, meaning he’s outplayed at least four starters. He’s had two 30-point weeks, he’s past his bye, and his playoff schedule is DET, NE, LAC, which is manageable when he’ll have had nearly a full season in Payton’s offense.
Jordan Love is QB10, past his bye, coming off a 22-point game. LaFleur’s offense is incredible, and Love is basically a rookie. His playoff schedule is TB, CAR, MIN.
Desmond Ridder scored under seven points in three of his first four games, but in his last three games, he’s scored 31, 21, and 17. He has more rushing upside than the previous two QBs, and his playoff schedule is arguably the most favorable in CAR, IND, CHI (granted it’s @CHI, but the other two are home).
RB
We have picked the bone clean here, but you could do worse than burning the last spot on your bench with a player who’s one injury away from being a lead back.
Kenny Gainwell isn’t built to be a starting RB, but if D’Andre Swift goes down, Gainwell will start.
Jaleel McLaughlin has the goods and already shares work with Javonte.
Jerick McKinnon will probably be a thing again when the Chiefs reach the home stretch.
Tank Bigsby has a three-down skillset and would be the guy if Etienne went down.
Zamir White, I guess? I’m sorry I even started this list.
WR
Michael Wilson is firmly the #2 WR in Arizona, and Kyler is coming back.
Jahan Dotson is firmly the #2 WR in Washington, and… he was a first-round pick? (Cries into hands)
All of the Giants’ WRs are available, for good reason, BUT the offensive line is getting back together, Daniel Jones has had a few weeks of not getting the shit kicked out of him, and Barkley being back means teams will respect the run. Wan’Dale, Hyatt, Slayton, in that order.
Jonathan Mingo is the #2 WR for Carolina, who comes out of their bye with a new playcaller.
Treylon Burks still has time to become a thing. He came in raw as a rookie but showed flashes.
Elijah Moore quietly has at least seven targets in five of six games. “Quietly” meaning they haven’t translated to significant points. YET.
Julio Jones. Why not?
Jake Bobo is stuck behind three great WRs in Seattle, but he showed on Sunday that if he gets the chance to start, he knows how to win on routes.
TreyPalm is stuck in an offense that badly needs to change its identity and start using three-WR looks where he is exclusively that third WR. The Bucs are playing all of their players a semi-significant amount, and good teams don’t really do that forever. At some point, the competition for playing time needs to declare a winner, and in this case, it needs to be Palmer over Thompkins and Jarrett.
TE
Taysom Hill actually plays TE now, but he wasn’t used as a receiver until Juwan Johnson went out. However, he continues to be used as a situational runner at a position where a TD gets you into the top 10 each week.
Trey McBride becomes the Cards’ top TE as Zach Ertz hits IR and Kyler Murray returns. McBride was the top TE in his draft class. He’s good at everything, and he’s faster than most TEs. Ertz was seventh in TE targets before going down.
Cade Otton plays a higher percentage of snaps than any TE in the league. If teams steal Atlanta’s blueprint of simply holding the Bucs’ receivers on every play, then Baker will need to use Otton as a safety valve.
K
Greg Zuerlein is sixth in points per game. The defense is good, the offense is bad. The Jets prefer to lay up rather than ask Zach to attack.
Jason Myers is 11th, Matt Gay is 12th, so they are starters? Justin Tucker is 18th. This argument is bunk. This position is stupid.
DL
Chase Young is near the top of the league in QB pressures.
Montez Sweat gets sacks when QBs run away from Chase Young.
LB
Tremaine Edmunds is tenth in tackles.
Azeez Al-Shaair is eleventh.
DB
Jalen Ramsey is about to come off IR.
Geno Stone leads the league in INTs.
Jessie Bates is tied for second in INTs and gets a ton of tackles.
Kyle Hamilton, man. Just get him.
I set the season-high scoring mark while Corey watched.
Oliver busted our union with a week-high 50 from Mahomes.
Evan remembered how much he misses Josh Allen.
Cameron had ten players in single digits, including two zeroes, a one, and a two.
Max and Sean apparently played golf.
Sam Howell 6.66
Cards on the table, I don’t have time to do the full thing this week. So instead of rushing that, I’m going to do a binary thing.
Ooh La La vs. Ghostface
Doak
Lamar @AZ yes
Bijan @TEN no
Evans @BUF yes
Flowers @AZ yes
Waller vs.NYJ no
Kamara @IND yes
CMC vs.CIN yes
Tucker @AZ yes
Garrett @SEA yes
Roquan @AZ yes
Winfield @BUF no
Queen @AZ yes
Shelby
Herbs vs.CHI yes
Chaad @BUF yes
Diggs vs. TB yes
DJ @LAC yes
Jonnu @TEN yes
Addison @GB no
Gibbs vs.LV yes
Sanders vs.NE yes
Watt vs.JAX yes
Anzalone vs.LV yes
H.Smith @GB yes
D.White @BUF yes
Shelby wins 11 – 9
Tag-Man vs. Money
Oliver
Mahomes @DEN god yes
Pacheco @DEN yes
Godwin @BUF yes
Nico @CAR yes
Kmet @LAC no
Mixon @SF no
Aiyuk vs.CIN no
Hopkins @SEA no
Josh Allen @PIT yes
Quincy @NYG yes
Byard @WAS no
Brooks vs.CLE yes
Sean
Hurts @WAS yes
Henry vs.ATL no
Meyers @DET yes
Puka @DAL yes
Goedert @WAS yes
Cooper @SEA no
H’wood vs.BAL yes
Grupe @IND yes
Hunter @GB yes
TJ Eddy @LAC no
Blankenship @WAS no
Kyzir vs.BAL no
Oliver wins 8 -7 (“god yes” is worth two)
IDP-U vs. Piss Master
Brian
Allen vs.TB no
Taylor vs.NO no
Kupp @DAL yes
London @TEN yes
Andrews @AZ yes
Palmer vs.CHI yes
JSN vs.CLE yes
Moody vs.CIN yes
Burns vs.HOU no
Leonard vs.NO no
Derwin vs.CHI yes
Greenlaw vs.CIN no
Max
Stafford @DAL no
Barkley vs.NYJ no
Keenan vs.CHI yes
Thielen vs.HOU no
LaPorta vs.LV yes
Pittman vs.NO no
Gus @AZ yes
Bass vs.TB yes
Wilkins vs.NE yes
Zaire vs.NO yes
Jenkins @PIT yes
Sneed @DEN yes
Max wins 8 – 7
Chasin vs. K-Bop
Corey
Burrow @SF yes
Najee vs.JAX yes
Lockett vs.CLE no
Waddle vs.NE no
Pitts @TEN no
McLaurin vs.PHI yes
Singletary @CAR yes
Ka’imi @CAR yes
Donald @DAL no
Warner vs.CIN yes
Moore vs.NO no
Hicks @GB yes
Coleman
Darnold vs.CIN yes
Mostert vs.NE no
Olave @IND yes
Rashee @DEN yes
Kittle vs.CIN yes
Walker vs.CLE yes
Stevenson @MIA yes
Butker @DEN yes
Hutch vs.LV yes
Singleton vs.KC no
Darious @PIT yes
Poyer vs.TB yes
Coleman wins 10 – 7
Jacobsfuscation vs. Jags
Cameron
Goff vs.LV yes
Teeny vs.LAR yes
STA vs.NE yes
Higgins @SF yes
Hock @GB no
DeVonta @WAS yes
Jacobs @DET no
Aubrey vs.LAR yes
Crosby @DET yes
Mosley @NYG yes
Curl vs.PHI yes
Logan @SF yes
Spencer
Trevor @PIT no
Cook @TB no
Ridley @PIT yes
Chase @SF yes
Kincaid vs.TB no
GW @NYG yes
C.Kirk @PIT yes
McManus @PIT no
Hendrickson @SF yes
Oluokun @PIT yes
Ford vs.MIN no
Bernard vs.TB yes
Cameron wins 10 – 7
SunGod vs. Roy
Evan
Tua vs.NE no
Swift @WAS yes
AJB @WAS yes
SunGod vs.LV yes
Engram @PIT yes
Breece @NYG yes
Lamb vs.LAR yes
Elliot @WAS no
Bosa vs.CIN yes
Lavonte @BUF yes
Witherspoon vs.CLE no
Ernie @DAL no
Kennedy
Stroud @CAR yes
Etienne @PIT no
Adams @DET yes
Watson vs.MIN yes
Kelce @DEN yes
Moss vs.NO no
Ekeler vs.CHI yes
Folk vs.ATL yes
Parsons vs.LAR yes
Bobby Time always
Bynum @GB yes
Kennedy wins 10 – 8
If the Bucs can’t run on this Bills’ defense, our season is going nowhere fast.
