Evans: 74 catches; 1,328 yards; 174 FP
Brown: 90 catches; 1,112 yards; 196 FP
Touchdowns
Evans 6
Brown 13
I want to take this time to remind everyone that the trade that sparked this dichotomy was not Brown for Evans straight up. It was Brown and Hue-Era Nick Chubb for Evans and Jam Crowder. It wasn’t even a good idea at the time.
Le’Veon Bell has allegedly reiterated his desire to sign with the Colts, and I want to get in on predicting where he will go before any dominoes fall. I don’t think he goes to the Colts unless they trade Mack (hopefully to the Bucs). It makes more sense to keep Mack because (a) he gets the job done, and (b) he makes almost no money for two more seasons. The Colts Super Bowl window is suddenly open again, but with Luck at the helm, it will be open for a while. There’s no need to pay Bell, who is asking for 17 million a year (with special attention to guaranteed money), especially not with needs on defense. 17 million could even get you three or four solid depth pieces on the offensive and defensive lines, two areas where the Colts suffered injuries that temporarily derailed this season.
So I’m saying the Colts are out. Who’s in? Who has money?
The Ravens fit Bell’s revenge tale, but they appear to lack the scratch.
Miami is where Bell spent most of this season, but they are also poor.
The Jets have money, but Bell’s not going to the Jets.
The Raiders have cap space, but their finances are in question after rumors came out that the reason they traded Mack was that they lacked the liquid capital to cover the guaranteed money up front for his mega-deal. Oakland sucks too much for Bell to be seriously interested, but Oakland is the one team that would pay more than asking price (assuming they have the cash). Bell wants 17 million, and he wants most of it guaranteed. After forsaking 15 million this year, could he turn down an offer of three years, 60 million guaranteed? Push the red button, Gruden!!!
The Bills have money, and LeSean McCoy has hit the wall. Meanwhile, Brady looks like a guy on the verge of retirement, which would make the AFC East the Bills’ to lose. Or…
The Texans have money, and if the Colts jilt Bell, he could write a new revenge fantasy. The Texans are a playoff team in need of a runningback, and they have tons of money. They originally signed Lamar Miller because they thought he was a back who could do everything. Bell is actually that back.
The 49ers have money and probably don’t want another McKinnon-Breida year. Again, the kind of player they think Jerick McKinnon is, Le’Veon Bell is actually that player.
All of those teams are cute, but they’re not the move.
The move is the Kansas City Chiefs. All of their current RBs are on expiring contracts, and they only have center Mitch Morse and edge rusher Dee Ford to re-sign. They are more likely to let Ford walk than Morse. This team is going to go all-offense. The worst defense in the league allows 29.9 points per game. If the Chiefs score 40 per, they can afford to have the worst defense. If they have Mahomes, Kelce, Hill, Watkins (sometimes), and Bell, they have too many ways to score.
The case against Dirk Koetter is easier to build, and since I want to keep him, it makes more sense structurally to open with it and then close with the case for.
Koetter is 19-27 as the Bucs’ head coach. He was 42-36 (including 2-2 in bowl games) as the head coach as Arizona State. In college football, losing six games per season makes you as irrelevant as a pro team that loses nine games. They still let you play in December, but the only people watching your games are the fans of the teams playing. Koetter is also not a winner. He doesn’t make excuses for losing, which is good, but he also accepts failure as a precursor to personal growth. We’re not here to personally grow. We’re here to win football games. Koetter was able to earn this job because he was getting buzz elsewhere when he was just our OC. Jameis had a great rookie year, and the Glazers wanted him to have a consistent NFL upbringing. Fast-forward three years: QBs younger than Jameis are already taking over the league. Jared Goff is trash, but his stats and record over time are good enough to build a case that he’s developed while Jameis hasn’t. And if you want to throw him out, then let’s talk about other playoff QBs like Pat Mahomes and Deshaun Watson. In the 2015 Draft, Winston and Mariota were the only QBs selected in the first two rounds. The other five, five total, QBs drafted that year were Garrett Grayson, Sean Mannion, Bryce Petty, Brett Hundley, and Trevor Siemian. Competing with Mariota alone is bad for Winston because it makes the whole year look like a wash for QBs. If Winston is expendable, Koetter has no value to us anymore. On the other hand, Winston could still be our QB, and his upbringing could be considered stable enough that he’s able to transition to a new coach without confusion. Mayfield was handed off [i]mid-season[/i] to his benefit. In terms of things that are indirectly Koetter’s fault, he hired Mike Smith and allowed him to derail the defense’s growth during the primes of Gerald McCoy and Lavonte David.
Under Koetter, the offense is the best it’s ever been. We rank higher in the league than ever before, and with consistency. Just the players are better than ever. It wasn’t that long ago that Joey Galloway was our best player on offense, catching passes from six different QBs over three seasons. Galloway was basically DeSean Jackson. If DeSean Jackson were our best player on offense, that would mean no Winston, no Evans, no OJ. That’s how bad we used to be. That’s how much we’ve improved. Furthermore, Koetter inherited a team that was 23-57 and finished last in the division for five seasons. The average point-differential was -104. In Koetter’s time as HC, 19-27 is a +.100 in winning percentage, and his average point-differential of -40 is also a marked improvement. We are still not good, and that’s frustrating, but we had no building blocks outside of McCoy and David when Koetter took this job. He deserves to stay because he’s made us better.
Boy, I really thought I’d want to keep Koetter by the end, and I kind of do, but I now know what the Glazers will do. The question is: do we need Koetter to continue as head coach now that we’ve built an offense? We were fine bringing in Gruden once we had a defense already assembled in 2002. The offensive talent we have now, outside of offensive line, is good to go for at least five years. The defense needs our attention now, and the best way to give the defense attention is to keep Monken has OC and hire a defensive head coach. I’m not sure who that would be. Brian and I want it to be Raheem Morris. I’d be very interested in Vikings DC George Edwards. Once upon a time, we hired a Vikings DC to be our head coach. His name was Tony Dungy.
Shelby stunk it up against Coleman, and Coleman already attempted to stink it up by forgetting to set his lineup. Coleman became this first team to win with only 11 starters this season. It was also the second time in two weeks that Coleman won without breaking 100; the first was to Oliver. Shelby and Oliver deserve each other in the last-place game this week.
Corey let us all down. I mean, I assume he didn’t let Cameron down, but Cameron is a Pats fan, so I assume he doesn’t have feelings and thus can’t be “let down” in the same sense as most human beings. Cameron was so beatable, after a season of dominance. And it’s not just that Corey lost. He scored 71 points, and average of less than six per player. And that’s with 14.5 from his DB! Fuck you, Cam Newton!
I don’t know about the rest of you, but Tim let me down, and I can only come back five or six more times before he lets me down for good. I’m happy the best two teams will play for the ship, but that’s all I’m happy about after this result. Tim was the third lowest scorer of the week. What’s with the meltdowns?
Sean and Kennedy finished the first leg of their match with Kennedy leading by 20. The Chargers finally suck the way we envisioned they would. It happened when we thought it would. It was completely avoidable, yet Sean leaned into it. Glorious.
I’m happy not to be playing for last place. Credit to Damien Williams and Drew Brees.
Spencer trounced Evan and gets his chance at the number one pick. Right now, his team next season is going to be built around Mahomes, Conner, and Gurley. I can’t wait to see how he screws that up.
Brian overthrows the Cameron empire, mostly because Jameis scores 45.
Spencer wins that top pick over Coleman as Mahomes returns to his 40-point form, but mostly because Coleman’s team is not good at all.
Evan takes the third pick because my team is also not good at all.
Shelby narrowly avoids last place over Oliver.
Kennedy’s Seahawks finish the job against Sean’s Chargers.
Tim and Corey each hold their breath, hoping the other passes out first.
